Great news! The third Superego (which I’m calling Superego: Betrayal) is to the alpha reader, my wife, the lovely and talented SarahK. So it’s basically done — except I keep changing my mind on the ending and might rewrite the last chapter before she gets to it.

My wife’s job is to keep me from embarrassing myself, so she’s always the first to read my new stuff. If she likes it or just has a few small suggestions, then I’ll soon be looking for beta readers. If instead she’s more like, “This is horrible. I don’t even think I can look at you knowing you wrote this. I want a divorce.” …well, then it will be a bit longer.

I guess the only thing you can do at this stage is pester her to get her to read it quickly. But don’t tell her I told you to do that or she’ll get mad at me. Also, tell her I’m a good husband and she should stay married to me even if I write bad.

And by the way, when I’m looking for beta readers, it will be through my Substack email list, so if you’re interested, make sure you’re signed up.

The Best of The Babylon Bee

Once again, it’s time for the very best of The Babylon Bee (i.e., stuff I wrote) and to remind you to actually read the articles as we hide a lot of jokes there.

Biden Admits His First 100 Days Were A Failure Since America Hasn't Been Completely Destroyed Yet

I like this one because it’s just so dumb and over the top.

Report: People Have Been Thinking All White Men Are Terrible But It Turns Out It's Just Steve

I also find it funny when one guy is just hated for no reason. Ends up there is no problem with structural racism or white supremacy — it’s just Steve.

*shakes fist*

STEVE!

Meow Mix Sued For False Advertising After Study Shows Cats Were Just Making Standard Cat Noises And Not Asking For A Particular Brand Of Food

Again, I don’t have much to say about this one other than my favorite compliment for satire: It’s so stupid. I also like taking a dumb premise — Meow Mix is trying to defraud us — and argue it as seriously as possible.

Good Tweets

Once again, it’s time for me to show you how it’s done by demonstrating what good tweets look like. This is what we in the industry call “content.”

Frank J. Fleming @IMAO_

Watching the 1978 Superman, and my son, thinking he knows the story, says, “So now that pod baby Superman is in lands in Metropolis.” And I was like “Oh no. He can’t be raised by city folk. He’d be the world’s greatest monster. He has to have a proper Midwest upbringing.”

May 1st 2021

39 Retweets536 Likes

Frank J. Fleming @IMAO_

No rights, not even the right to bear arms, is absolute. For instance, you can’t shoot someone yelling “Fire!” in a theater if the theater isn’t crowded.

April 29th 2021

12 Retweets117 Likes

Frank J. Fleming @IMAO_

“A rare miss from you. You can do better.” —Me when seeing someone’s new baby

April 29th 2021

1 Retweet29 Likes

Frank J. Fleming @IMAO_

Sub-Zero was a pretty terrible assassin in the new Mortal Kombat movie. "I'm just going to stab this samurai in the shoulder really hard and assume he dies." "Well, I shattered his arms and he fell. Probably dead. Whatever it's 5pm on a Friday."

April 28th 2021

4 Retweets78 Likes